Amazon Alexa Hates Me!

I love a new gadget and  I thought the Amazon Echo would be a great way to play my Spotify list. Also, I needed a new alarm clock so the smaller Echo Dot would be great for upstairs.  I would be able to listen to music around the house and ask what time it is in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep…Perfect!

Or so I thought!

The Upstairs Alexa is fine. She stops me grappling around at all hours trying to find my glasses, lamp switch and phone and simply tells me what time it is when I ask her. If I ask her to help me sleep she soothes my nerves with ambient sounds…waves, a tropical rainstorm or a crackling fire. When I awake she gives me a weather forecast and news bulletin and then soothes me back to the land of the living with Smooth Radio.

However..

Downstairs Alexa hates me!

I’m not joking she goes out of her way to be awkward, condescending and downright arrogant. If I ask her to play Michael Buble she does so…in French!

When I ask her to play Elvis she says…’ I don’t know that one!’

The other day I asked her to play me a power ballad, she played Guns N Roses!

So why can Upstair’s Alexa sing ‘God Save the Queen’ but Downstairs Alexa pretends that I have a speech defect?

When I am still reading late into the night, Upstairs Alexa politely tells me it is 3.30am without a hint of reprimand. Meanwhile, I am sure I heard Downstairs Alexa  ‘tut’ at me when I asked her to remind me my pizza was in the oven. I now have to lie and say the reminder is for broccoli to avoid the sigh of disapproval.

My family have great fun with her. They ask her to repeat swear words and rude sayings, try to baffle her with ridiculous questions and its all very light-hearted but when I ask her to explain the difference between affect and effect….she gets all uppity with me! They all get on like a house on fire, swapping trivia, telling jokes but if I ask her to spell something I can almost hear her say ‘stupid woman’ under her breath!

She actually responds to the dog better than me, sometimes when he barks she turns her spinning green light on and says ‘I don’t know that one’.

If you are mildly tempted to buy the Amazon Echo or Dot, make sure you ask for the ‘Upstairs Version’ and don’t do what I did and forgot her name! now that was an interesting few days!

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